The Wives of White-Collar Crime
The WCWP is comprised of over a hundred white-collar innocent spouses from four continents who have suffered acute financial and emotional distress due to the fallout of their husband’s occupational crime. \While the egregious financial and familial betrayal is monumental, innocent spouses and children must also endure misplaced guilt by association from the public. The only thing family members are guilty of is placing their implicit trust in someone who threw them off a cliff. “How could she not know” is ever present in the minds of those who have not experienced this acute familial breach of trust, but this same question is rarely asked of an employer, client, accountant, auditor, coworkers, etc. or anyone else closely connected to a perp’s occupational duties. Perp’s go to great lengths to be seen as trustworthy, and most are even exemplary employees. They are also family and community oriented. The main mission of the perp is to appear to be upstanding so that they can continue to perform their fraud.
Financial fraudsters are master manipulators who can easily navigate their work, home, and social environments under the cover of being a “really good guy/gal.” They know how to appear to be compliant in the workplace and affable at home while carrying out their scheme. I believe this is due to what I call, “compartmentalized ethics.” The last people they want to know about their nefarious actions are their family members and co-workers because they want to be seen as highly productive and successful. In many cases, embezzled funds never cross the threshold of the family bank account(s) and are instead kept guarded in secret bank accounts to cover the cost of an addiction to drugs/gambling, debt, lifestyle. affair, or any number of reasons to keep illicit funds hidden. If the funds are utilized to boost the family income, they are presented convincingly as legitimate windfalls.
Occupational malfeasance is a crime against the family and forces “loved ones” to live in the shadows of shame. These crimes trigger financial ruin, and acute social stigma. Occupational crimes are not done for the family, but TO the family.
Christine
Australia's single biggest case of public sector fraud - Embezzlement - $25 million dollars - 12 years prison
“Essentially, I was in a financially abusive relationship which culminated in a financial affair of the most obscene proportions!” - CA, Perth, Australia
I joined this group over 18 months ago after my husband’s arrest in November 2019. I live in Perth Western Australia, and after searching for a support group closer to home unsuccessfully, I stumbled across Lisa Lawler, emailed her and subsequently was directed to this group. I want you to all know that I have taken great comfort in your stories, as they are my story too. It seems that although we are on different sides of the world, with completely different legal processes, the emotions and emotional experiences are shared amongst us all.
My husband was responsible for the theft of 27 million Australian dollars, from the West Australian Government. Shockingly, but not surprisingly, it is the largest case of public sector fraud in our country. He systematically over 11 years orchestrated and carried out this horrific crime with 4 others. His work colleagues, and his family, all completely unaware.
After my husband’s arrest, he was released on bail, and within 48 hours he attempted suicide at our home, and was subsequently hospitalised. Myself and my children were home to witness this horrific event. After a one week stay in ICU he was admitted as an involuntary mental health patient. This was a very difficult time where some of his secrets came to light. I also need to mention we have 3 beautiful children together who were 18 and 13 (twins) at the time. Looking back I think the most difficult thing through each stage is navigating a system or systems on the back foot, and dealing with institutions where staff are coming from an institutional perspective as they have been in the system too long and have forgotten they are dealing with families going through a life changing crisis, and who are in trauma. I still find this to be the most frustrating part of my journey. This was of course, a very political case that has had a high media profile. In the beginning, we could not even get in and out if our house for the first couple of weeks. We were scaling fences and walls to get into our home without being photographed. The last thing I wanted was for my children to have their anonymity and that of their mother’s compromised. I have and always will be fiercely protective of our privacy.
On Friday 19th November 2021, 2 years after his arrest, my husband was sentenced to 12 years in prison. He is eligible for parole in 8 years. He has already served 2 years in remand while awaiting his sentence. I still don’t have all of the details of the crime, but needless to say my children and I find ourselves where all of you ladies have been….. just surviving. Essentially, I was in a financially abusive relationship which culminated in a financial affair of the most obscene proportions. Understandably, the government has taken all our assets to cover some of the debt. It has left me at the age of 55 starting from scratch, living day by day and not looking further ahead than the end of each week. Our lives will never be the same, and my children and I are still trying to make sense of his shocking crime, and where we find ourselves. We have lost absolutely everything, but importantly have each other. We continue to struggle with the fact that our lives were a lie and my partner certainly wasn’t who I thought he was. I have also recently found out he was being unfaithful in our marriage, not just monetarily. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I definitely plan on moving on and living my own life my own way, with as much grace and courage as I can muster, and to create the reality and home my children deserve.
It’s an exhausting and grueling journey which I know threatens to break us all on a regular basis. I take comfort in the many angels that have come my way to help me navigate this unique and torrid event. This support group has huge angel wings, and has offered such comfort with kind words of great courage and strength. Thankyou all for sharing your stories. I knew I wasn’t alone as I read your heartbreaking tales and I certainly knew that what I was feeling was shared amongst many others going through the same experience.
Kim
Tax Fraud $40 million tax fine/1.6 Billion Judgement on Business Entity from FTC - Overturned by SCJ - 17 Year Incarceration
“If I had been guilty of any crime and charged along with him, I would have had more protections under the law than I do as an innocent spouse. And let’s not forget I have to pay for my attorney and his is provided free of charge.”
Last week my husband pled guilty to his tax charge and received a 3 year sentence and a 40M tax bill, AND the judge wrote in the order that when he gets out he will only have to pay 5% of the household income towards his 40M bill. I on the other hand, got handed half of that bill even though I pay my taxes separately, NO ONE has given me a 5% protection. If I lose my innocent spouse tax case then they can come after me for everything, garnish my postal pension, and social security, (when I take it), houses (if I own one), bank accounts, etc….you get the idea. My now ex-husband is the gift that keeps on giving…and giving…and giving. If I had been guilty of any crime and charged along with him, I would have had more protections under the law than I do as an innocent spouse. And let’s not forget I have to pay for my attorney and his is provided free of charge.
(After losing the FTC civil case in the Supreme Court, the appointed monitor has refused to return Kim’s legal portion of her marital assets, and the judge on her case refuses to make a judgement on where her assets should go. The SDNY is vying for those assets to go toward her ex-husband’s criminal restitution regardless of the FTC and IRS cases being civil and not criminal, and Kim is not a party to any of these crimes. The Southern District of New York would need to go through the proper channels to claim those funds, but so far, they have only taken steps to clawback the funds from the monitor who holds them, without cause. Kim is divorced and fully disconnected from her husband. Without having performed any kind of fraudulent conveyance of these funds, the correct legal avenue would be to return the assets to Kim. Without legal recourse to refer the assets to the SDNY, the judge in Kim’s case appears to be at a stalemate with Kim’s attorneys, and is so far siding with the SDNY.)
Jennifer
Investment/Wire Fraud, $3million - 5 Years
“I was pointed at by the prosecutor yesterday in the courtroom as he referred to me as my husband’s co-conspirator. It was shocking and humiliating.”
Hi, Lisa, thank you for replying so quickly. Your email brought me to tears, I had been feeling such dread at all that has happened and for what the future holds. But now, not quite so alone.
My husband’s name is ______ and was prosecuted in Florida. We have been battling this for years, first with the SEC, and after three years they couldn’t decide what to do with his case. But last year, a prosecutor picked up the case and told my husband that FBI agents would be looking at me and my parents if he didn’t sign a plea agreement. It turns out that he used all of our names in his marketing and correspondence, though none of us were aware of this, or have we ever worked for his hedge fund. I was pointed at by the prosecutor yesterday in the courtroom as he referred to me as my husband’s co-conspirator. It was shocking and humiliating.
I have two children, 12 and 6, and I haven’t worked since I was pregnant with my eldest. We have no savings due to this case taking everything, and I’m terrified what the future holds for us. I know we’ll figure it out, but I’ve never felt more afraid.
I found your site after googling ways to cope with this kind of situation. I had no idea there were support groups like yours, it felt like I had been thrown a lifejacket.
Christine H.
“It was the darkest time of my life and it's time for me to let go of the last bits of scare tissue and move forward. I finally feel like I am not alone...thank you!”
I thought it was time to connect to other women like me. It has been over 10 yrs of recovery and rebuilding, all done using my maiden name and hiding my past... I tell people my ex-husband left. It is easier and people seem to be able to accept that without prying. I raised three kids on my own - at the time 10, 9, and 4 - now 22, 21, and 16. I built a successful, purposeful career and have the financial stability I never thought I could/would have. It was the darkest time of my life and it's time for me to let go of the last bits of scare tissue and move forward. I finally feel like I am not alone...thank you!
My ex-husband was sentenced to 2-4 yrs and served 18 months in Brooklyn. He then went to a halfway house and moved in with his parents. I divorced him soon after his release. His father was a very well known attorney who tried everything in his power to get him off or get a lighter sentence. At one point he had everyone in our circle write letters to say that his son committed the felony of embezzlement for his wife and kids. I actually thought that it was my fault...I know better now.
I was a research scientist for 15 years and had to leave the profession that I loved because I could not support a family of 4 without a PhD and I did not have the money to pay for the schooling. I started a career in fundraising in academia. I worked hard and developed a good reputation for dealing with families of wealth and notoriety. Three years ago I switched directions again and now raise money for a groundbreaking research organization working with the billionaires and titans of NY. Pretty ironic right? Back to a career I loved in a different facet, and working with the folks my ex husband was trying to be like. I am known for my honesty and integrity and I am determined to help get discoveries and medical breakthroughs to patients. My kids needed a positive role model and I needed to be happy and feel fulfilled. I still struggle with trust, romantic relationships, and what effect this all had/ has on my now grown up kids.
Nicole C.
Yes all that you said is true, since reading your blogs it’s the first time I can really own that I am an innocent spouse. I am tired of taking all the blows. I have turned into the “ walking dead” as you say.
My husband’s name is ______ and I am standing by him, but there are many circumstances surrounding this that are still not known. I am facing difficulty in my marriage because of this. My husband does not understand why I am am distraught and traumatized by all of this. It has changed me dramatically and I am contemplating divorce. Of course he has apologized and has clearly been humbled, and yes he has changed for the better, but he continues to be frustrated because I am not a happy wife. The collateral damage from this is so far reaching.